i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
