I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
