Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
