Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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