Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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