she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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