i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
