Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize