i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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