We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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