plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
