Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
