I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
