walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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