3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
