Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Life is so much better after having sex.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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