how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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