i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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