So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
