Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
