i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
