I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he fucked my hip out of place.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
