i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
