if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
