You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Enjoy the penises
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
