You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize