I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
