I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
