I bet he comes in French.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
