my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
