He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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