rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well I just put wine in my tea
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize