Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
