chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
