Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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