Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
