the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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