My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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