Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
