Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
please don't ironically join a cult
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