I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
