It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
