She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
