piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
