Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
