Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Randomize
