apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
