i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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