...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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