Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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