I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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