My brain says no but my pants say off.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
