she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
