I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
