dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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