I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
