I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
