capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
