dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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