There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
