So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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