Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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