I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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